I have heard people say things like, “I say it as it is and I simply don’t care”. I understand the need to be real with your partner but there is also how to effectively communicate in love.

I also know that you will find somebody that love you just the way you are but what you don’t know is that they may even be loving something else in you and not that part of you.

Love is commujicated in actions and words and it’s effectively communicated to one another in the best way possible. You don’t feel loved when your partner talks to you carelessly even if he takes you around the world in minutes.

A lot of young people see effective communication especially in marriage or relationship as just creating time to talk to each other anyhow but it is much more than just that.

Effective communication of love is not just about talking without caring if your words are translating same meaning of love to your partner.

This is what makes controversial people who they are. They communicate haphazardly without caring if what they say means love to their partner.

There is one thing you need to understand about communicating effectively. Words evoke meanings that triggers our emotions.

Effective communication requires just more than one skill for it to be achieved. To communicate effectively in love especially, you need the following skills.

📍 You need to know that men and women understand differently. Women most times understand from their emotional disposition because that is how they are designed.

The words you use means a lot to ladies and so you need to be a lot careful with them, this is not bad at all, although it may need some modification especially when it is borne out of lack of proper Understanding of men also.

📍 You need to be self aware of what you feel per time before you say those things to your partner. Being self aware helps you to be in charge of what you are saying and not allowing your emotion to make you say things that you don’t mean to your partner in error.

📍 You need to restict yourself around that thing you want to tell your partner. Regulating yourself allows you not to deviate from your intended meaning. You are not miscontrued but you remains within the confines of what you mean exactly.

📍 You also need to know how the other partner is feeling based on their understanding of what you are saying to them (empathy). Effective communication requires that you get feedback from your partner you. Feedbacks can be in form of verbal or even non verbal most times.

Empathy helps you to select the best possible words in your communication so that you don’t trigger the wrong emotion in your partner.

All these skills are for those who are emotionally intelligent. It is not just a general gift given to all but it is a skill that we need to acquire as adults which determines our level of success and happiness in life generally.

I hope this was valuable enough. Which of these skills stands out for you? Let me know in the comment sections.

Okereke Soromfechi

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