Stella was given to me by my godmother after my wedding to go with me in order to help me in some domestic chores. She was 12 when she came to our house. She just finished her primary education and her parents couldn’t afford to send her to secondary school because of their financial constraint. My godmother pleaded with me to help train her in school and ensure she becomes a good woman.
Immediately we arrived Lagos after our wedding, I enrolled Stella in one of the best schools in the neighborhood. My friends were against my idea of putting her in such an expensive school since she was not related to me. My husband was neutral, he gave me full authority to do what I like with her.
We had delay in child bearing so I spent a lot taking care of Stella. I treated her like our own daughter since we are yet to have ours. She wore the best clothes we could afford, ate whatsoever she likes and decided what she wanted. I didn’t regret all I did for Stella because she’s really hard working. Since we have no children, work in the house were not much. Before I get up from bed she would have done almost every work at home and get breakfast ready. Her meals have some local scent that made my husband love her food. We both love her cooking so I left the kitchen for her. I only prepare momoi anytime my husband wants it.
At 18 Stella had become a complete woman with nice shape and gorgeous look. She is so sexy and attractive with or without make up. Before she got admission into the University, boys were all over her. Her beauty of course is unresistable.
I became worry when my husband began to pass some nice comments at her. Like – “you look beautiful”, ‘your dress is nice”, “you look sexy” etc. I held my patience so he won’t say I’m jealous but deep inside me I was not comfortable. Things grew worse as I have caught my husband stirring at Stella’s backside with wrap attention. On several occasions I barged on him trying to spy at her.
Last month Stella bent down while cleaning the house and my husband was carried away as he stirred at her and forgot himself. I was mad and I slapped him to bring him back to consciousness. Dear, Stella is your daughter, why looking at her lustfully? I challenged him, but he didn’t say a word as he walked out on me. At this juncture I knew it was time I do something fast before my husband lustfully fall into the seductive snare of Stella.
Stella may have some bad characters but she has been a good girl. On what basis will I tell her she has to go? What will I tell my godmother if I send Stella away? How do I tell our pastor that Stella must leave my house after she has becoming the most trusted and best choir member? But it is time for Stella to go!
I told my husband I want Stella to leave. In a gentle voice he asked why. I tried to explain but my reasons doesn’t even make sense to me myself. It was difficult for me to tell my husband I wanted Stella to leave because she’s becoming a threat to my marriage. But really she has become a big threat and my greatest worry in my marriage.
I began to mal-treat Stella for no cause. My husband insisted she’s not going anywhere. I picked up quarrel with my husband and that was the beginning of war in my home. My husband stopped eating my food, stop sleeping with me and began to keep malice with me. For over three months my husband has been relating with Stella like his wife while he detest me like an alien in my own house. I have called pastor to intervene but all to know avail. My husband is now a stranger to me because I brought a stranger into my house.
I won’t let Stella steal the heart of my husband from me. I will do everything to get rid of Stella to have my husband back.
Please advice me what to do so I don’t lose my husband to Stella. Stella is more beautiful than me, she’s young and attractive. Please help me.
My and is not the talking type, his words are few and this has been the source of our fight many times. I was shocked the way my husband was blowing hot when I told him we must talk about Stella matter today or else I won’t let him go to work. I locked the door, hid the keys and I held him by his tie, is either you kill me today or I kill myself, Stella must leave my house or you will chose between me and Stella today, I said while crying.
Lucy, sit down, he intrusted me calmly. I sat on the bed and he sat close to me. Then he began;
When you accepted to bring Stella to this house, was I in the picture? Did you consult me? Yet I didn’t pick up any quarrel with you, did I?
When she came you indirectly left your duties for her. Did I complain?
For over a half year you haven’t cook or serve my meal but Stella does and does it in a special way you have never.
As if that was not enough, you stopped performing your bedroom duties. Lucy when last did we have intimacy in this house? Yet we are looking for baby.
When last did you make me feel like a man in this house? How won’t I lust after Stella? Isn’t she a woman like you? Am I a dead wood?
If you are not in women’s fellowship meeting, you are in one prayer rally or the other. The other day, without consulting me you embarked on 21 days marathon fasting. Did I fight you or stop you? Even though you starved me in all ramifications.
While you were not available, Stella was there. She took care of my needs while you were busy attending church programs. When I was looking for an arm to rest on, you weren’t available. Stella was deputising for you, she listens when I am looking for who to share my burdens with. She encourages me when I’m worried. She prays with me and for me while you are away to church.
You slapped me because I was stirring at Stella, I didn’t say anything because I knew I was lusting but you never created an avenue for me to lust after you. A man must lust after something.
I am a Christian, else I would have taken advantage of Stella. She is more of a wife to me than you. She is calm, you are not. She is lovely, you are not. She is respectful you are not. She prepares my food, you don’t. She is a listener, you gat no time. You are busy but she’s available. You are always praying, she’s always acting. You are beautiful, she’s pretty. You are my legal but ceremonial wife, she’s my emotional and psychological wife. I see her more than I see you.
Lucy, if you are in my shoes, you would have fallen. I chose not to fall into this temptation because I love God and I also love you. Your disposition makes me the guilty one but I have sacrificed many things and many times to be a true husband. But if you are me, whom will you give attention to between Lucy and Stella?
This was the last question my husband asked me as he went mute expecting me to supply answers to his numerous questions. I was ashamed of myself momentarily. I knew I have failed but my mission to redeem back my home is paramount to me. My husband is already falling for Stella and separating them is the first step into solving this problem I caused for myself. I didn’t respond to any of his questions but I went on my knees to apologize for everything I have done wrong. He accepted my apologies and rushed out because he was already an hour 30 minutes late for work.
When he came back from work I served him his meal and while he was eating I told him Stella must go. On hearing that he left the dining and when inside, I followed him in. Stella is not going anywhere he said. But why? I asked him. Stella is innocent and she does not deserve such treatment because of your fault. If you are not having an affair with this girl, why don’t you want her to leave, I questioned him. I’m ready to take over my home, her presence is making me uncomfortable, she must go. If Stella goes, I go too, he replied, and that was the last statement I heard from my husband. We have returned to status quo at the moment. Stella’s presence makes me feel really bad, I want her out of my house. I’m ready to make amends but not with Stella in my house.
I’m ready to do anything(as far as is not a sin) to get rid of Stella. Please advice me.
*I MUST SACK MY HOUSEMAID*
*BY AYODELE ADEOYE*
Everyone seem to be blaming me for the troubles in my marriage. It’s okay, I accept the blames but there are many things I have seen that add up to my worries. Like I said before, my husband is not the talking type and you hardly know when he’s angry or displease about something. If he didn’t want me to do a 21 days marathon fasting, should he not have stopped me? Did he stop me and I refused to stop? I’m not a sex addict, hence I only give in whenever he ask me. He claimed we’ve not been intimate for quite a while, yes, that’s true. But did he ask me? Was there anytime I deny him? Did I just leave my kitchen for Stella? No, I did that to please him since he grew up in the village and his love and taste for local meal. I lived all my life in Lagos, I can cook continental meals very well. But Stella does well with local dishes.
What is wrong in a woman who has been waiting for the fruit of the womb for almost a decade to be closer to God? Only women who had been childless for that long can understand my plights. I don’t have any other gods than Jehovah, hence I dedicated my time praying and fasting for us, our expected children and his job.
My worries increased the day I saw a pack of codom in my husband’s briefcase. He just arrived from a three day trip and I was trying to remove his things from the briefcase, a pack of codom just fell off. One was already used from the pack. To the best of my knowledge and in all fairness my husband is a good Christian and a gentleman to a fault. But what was condom doing in his briefcase? I tried to ask him but I couldn’t. I kept that to myself until I started noticing his lustful attitudes towards Stella.
The breaking news why I insisted Stella must leave my house is that my husband had threatened me he will marry Stella if I don’t change my character. He told me if he had known Stella before me he would have chosen Stella instead of me. Though he said all these while we were quarreling but I’m not going to take it lightly. The Bible says “for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh”.
Stella is innocent but her presence in my house is a threat.
She’s a good girl but I smell danger everywhere.
I don’t want my fears to come to pass like it happened to Job in the Bible. Hence I want her out now that an affair has not started between them.
I don’t like my feelings about Stella and my husband.
I thought they say “prevention is better than cure”. Is it not wise to prevent it from happening before it eventually happen?
If I am your biological sister or daughter will you advice me to keep Stella under my roof?
Please be fair to me, tell me the truth like you will tell your daughter or sister. I love my husband and I don’t want to lose him.
I will tell you more about the condom when I come back later….
Two years after our marriage, my husband was seduced by his secretary in the office. They had an affair and he came home to confess to me by himself. He wasn’t spiritually strong then like he’s now. When I listen to his story and carried out my investigation I realized the whole episode was not his fault except that he was weak will. She had succeeded in seducing two other men in the same office including the director, my husband was her third victim.
I guess I was careless not to do anything about it when my husband started talking about how nice and beautiful his new secretary is. I deliberately went to my husband’s office one day just to see this secretary he had talked so much about. She is beautiful, fair in complexion, very curvy and charming. When I saw her I lost my peace, the same feeling I am having with Stella now. I felt intimidated seeing her around my husband because her dressing that day too was a thread to any man around her. I didn’t talk to her except for the greetings.
I went through a major surgery and I was on bed rest for closely three months. This was the most regrettable time of my life. No wonder the Bible says “when men slept the enemies came and sowed tares”. Of a truth, the enemy sowed tares into my vineyard during this time. Because of my ailment Chioma sowed tares of adultery into my marriage. This was the same time Stella took grip of my kitchen. She filled in the gap for me, took care of me, my husband and my house. Stella got closer to my husband this time than ever. My husband saw the qualities that makes her better than me within this time.
The seed of immorality sown by Chioma in my husband’s office and my marriage caused us a lot. The company went on financial recess for almost two years. My husband was not paid for like four months. When Chioma left that company things got better, but a seed has already been sown. Chioma made my husband to have a taste of another woman. She planted a seed of lust in my husband. If I don’t do something fast, the seed will grow and bear bitter fruits in my marriage. I see Stella as a fertile ground to grow the seed planted by Chioma. I want to get rid of Stella so I can get my husband back. Now that he’s lusting after Stella who lives under his roof, he might fall for her someday. My husband is not strong will, he is yet to fall obviously because Stella has not made any advances at him. I would not fold my hands and allow affliction to rise the second time. Stella must leave my house.
The condom I found in my husband’s briefcase was used the day they traveled for a workshop. Everything was Chioma’s hand work. The codom has been there for a long time but my husband was not aware. I didn’t discuss this with anyone because no one will believe me. My husband is a gentleman, I am a bit aggressive and loud. I also try to help him protect his name, especially in the church. It was a mistake, so I decided to deal with it between us. Thereafter I have not suspected him for anything until he started lusting after Stella. My mum told me that if a man is lusting after a woman, the only way he won’t fall is to stop seeing the woman. I think this is the right time my husband stop seeing Stella.
Why should I keep a woman who is more beautiful than me in my house?
Why should I keep a woman who is stealing my husband’s attention away from me gradually?
Should I continue to die in this fear?
Do you say I should leave a woman whom my husband is lusting after in my house?
What if he carry out his threat?
What if Stella begin to find interest in my husband?
If she wants my husband, in a tinkle of an eye, she will have him.
I’m working on my character. But I learnt men get carried away by what they see. My husband is already carried away my Stella’s beauty. I’m out to redeem my husband back.
Should I pursue Stella from my house or I should keep her?
Recently my husband began to make Stella go against my order. Whenever I give her instruction, he will give a counter instruction or pick up a quarrel with me for giving her too much of work. Sometimes he will ask her to go and rest when she’s yet to carry out the tasks I gave her. These were part of strategies to frustrate Stella but my husband frustrated me instead. In fact, it has grown so bad that Stella no longer fear or respect me in my own house.
My frustration metamorphosed into depression. At a time I was married but lonely. Another woman I brought to my house now enjoys my husband’s attention and company than me. Stella have no gut to disrespect me if not the backing my husband gave her.
He now gives her money to go to the market. If I don’t ask him for money he doesn’t give me. Before he gives me any money he will ask me a hundred questions on what I want to use the money for. I became fed up so I stopped asking him for money. Yet he ensure Stella doesn’t lack anything. To overcome this trying time I went in search of a job. Not as if I don’t have source of income but it does not require me much time. I also have some properties willed to me by my late father. I make good money every month. I became a full time house wife when I lost two pregnancy due to stress and my doctor advice me to reduce stressful jobs. I was working before I met my husband but I have to resign my job due to doctor’s advice.
The day I slap Stella, my husband did not talk to me for a month until I apologize to him and to Stella in his presence. I hardly spank her but I was really provoked that day. It was humiliating apolozing to a girl I brought out of the gutter. My own husband humiliated me before her. At a time I was afraid to scold Stella when she does something wrong because of fear of my husband’s reaction.
My mind is made up to send Stella packing. My childlessness no longer worry me like the presence of Stella in my house.
I will dare my husband, I will return Stella to my godmother. My people say “no matter how full a river is, the fisherman must reach its bank”. This step I’m about to sink my marriage but the best option is to get rid of Stella. I prayed, o God help me, then directed me to the story of the four lepers in 2king 7. I quickly grabbed my Bible to study. The messages were clear after reading. They had three options and all will lead to dead, instead of sitting down at the gate they took the most dangerous step. They went into the camp of their enemies and behold it was the right choice. Esther said “if I die, I die” but she didn’t die. I’m ready to take a step, I don’t mind the price, all I know is that Stella must go…
While I was scheming on how Stella will leave my house a call came from our pastor. Good afternoon Sis Lucy, how are you and family? Pastor greeted. I will like to see as soon as possible, he requested. Immediately my mind whispered to me it’s all about Stella and my husband. I left everything I was doing and rushed to pastor’s office. For the 45 minutes I waited in his reception I was deeply lost in thought. Fourty five minutes was like fourty five years. At exactly 4:30pm my husband joined me at the pastor’s office, then it down on me that we are in for something big. His greeting was casual as he sat on a seat close to me. While I was still in shock Stella joined us and I was almost fainting when I saw her. I don’t know what brought about that level of fear but had made up my mind Stella will go. If I have to tell pastor the whole truth I will today, Stella must go.
Before Stella could sit down the pastor’s secretary came to announce to us that pastor is already waiting for us. When we entered into pastor’s office his countenance was not nice at all. His mood speaks volumes, but my mind was made up.
Good afternoon to you all, can we bow down our heads for prayer? He requested. We all bowed our heads, but my heart was not bowed. He made a long prayer as he asked God to direct and lead us in our discussion. He took his Bible and shared with us from Matthew 5:9 KJV that says “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God”. From his exhortation I knew where he was going but I have made up my mind.
Before pastor hit the nail on the head, he spoke many parables and stories that got me more confused. I wish I could tell pastor to go straight to the point.
After all, pastor asked me, Sis Lucy are you aware Stella is pregnant? I looked at Stella’s tommy, stirred at my husband and passed out. That was the last thing I remember before I woke on the hospital bed.
I thought Stella is a discipline girl!
Is my husband responsible for Stella’s pregnancy?
My fears had eventually come through.
I was on the hospital bed thinking of all these all alone. Mama Titi was the one who stayed with me in the hospital when I went on coma. I begged her to tell me what happened and why I was admitted but she refused. She claimed she doesn’t know, pastor’s wife only called her to come and stay with me.
I knew the deal has been done. My husband must be responsible for Stella’s pregnancy. My marriage is slipping out of my hands. I wept bitterly.
Should I still let Stella stay in my house to give birth for my husband? This world is wicked I said to myself.
For three days I didn’t see my husband nor Stella. When the pastor came to see me, he assured me everything is under control if I can calm down and hear the full gist. How can I calm down when my husband just impregnated my housemaid? I was mad at the pastor. Daddy, I am still listening to you because of the grace of God over your life. How do you expect me to calm down when I’m losing my marriage right in your presence? The pastor put up a smile, Sis Lucy, you aren’t losing your marriage, just calm down. He pleaded.
Few hours later I was discharged and pastor and his wife drove me straight to their house. I was taken through several hours of counseling to just to make me calm down. Eventually I calmed down to hear the complete gist. After my nerves have been calmed, pastor invited my husband and Stella in. To my greatest surprise Chioma was also invited. I tried to reason why Chioma was invited but no idea came into my head. I held my peace as I was attentive to watch the drama that was about to unfold.
Pastor broke the silence, Sis Lucy I’m glad to announce to you that all that happened so far was a drama to bring you back to your senses. Your husband wrote the script for everything you have seen playing out in your marriage.
Stella is not pregnant!
Your husband did not have an affair with Chioma!
The codom was part of the script, your husband arranged it.
The confession was all framed up to make you see need to give attention to your husband.
Your investigation was staged before you carried it out.
All the lust dramas were planned.
We would have ended the drama if you had reported your husband the day he came to make false confession about the affair with Chioma.
Chioma never worked in your husband’s company.
There was no recession in his place of work. That too was a scene in the drama.
Your husband love you Sis Lucy. He wants you to realize your lapses but you failed to. Instead you prayed and fasted instead of you to amend your ways.
I almost thought I was dreaming as pastor began to expose the behind the scenes. I have been a foolish woman all this while. I am writing my story for other women like me to learn these lessons. I put on a smile, my husband smiled at me, Stella hugged me and everyone in the house laughed out loud. I was the lead actor in the the drama of my life without reading the script. I have been fooled but I give all the glory to God that my fears were artificial, created by my weak mind and inferiority complex.
Women reading my story these are lessons I want you to learn from my life:
1. Don’t be too spiritual to neglect your home. Your home is your first vineyard.
2. Learn to be patient, I was not patient in all this drama.
3. Don’t accommodate another woman in your house that could make you uncomfortable. Even though Stella is a good girl, you can’t be sure to always get a girl like Stella.
4. Prayer and fasting does not solve all problems. No wonder the Bible says “we should pray and watch”.
5. Learn to trust your spouse.
6. Don’t see marriage as a place of rest. Improve on yourself daily.
In conclusion, I wish to thank Pastor Ayodele Adeoye whom God used to guide my husband all through the acting time. I’m so happy now. I’m the most happiest woman in the world. I love Stella, and she’s not going anywhere again. My husband is a Christian indeed. I love him so much.
The greatest news is that I’m now three months pregnant. Joy has come to build its tent in my house.
Thank you for reading. Hope you have learn a lesson.